How to succeed in the world of on line dating
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How to succeed in the world of on line dating

If you are new to internet dating you are not alone. Despite the fact that internet dating is now mainstream in countries like the USA and UK it is still a relatively new phenomenon here in Australia.  But it’s growing fast !In a few years time its predicted that over half of single Australian's under 35 will also be on-line. But if you are new to this, and you want the low down about the realities of meeting people on line here are few tips to get you started.

So who are the most successful people on line? Well if you mean who is likely to be the most popular, trigger the most interest and to go on the most dates - there are a few things these types seem to have in common. Firstly they are proactive; they make contact with people they are interested rather than just waiting to see what happens. Second they are friendly and polite to everyone who contacts them even if they are not interested. And finally and most importantly they are always chatting, whether its friendly banter or outright on line flirting these people are at it.

Below are some tips and tricks we have picked up from people who seem to have it all going on in the online dating game.

Posting a profile and response

Let’s face it, writing a profile about yourself is tough. Which is one reason why on Meetmyfriend, you don’t have to.  Choose a friend who knows you well to give you a glowing reference. It helps if you choose someone who writes well or someone who is humorous.  Some of the people who seem to get a lot of hits on Meetmyfriend tend to have pretty funny profiles

Remember you get the chance to approve what has been written about you. So if you don’t like what your friend has written – ask them to change it. If your profile is already live and you are not happy with it – contact sarah@meetmyfriend.com.au and we will help you and your matchmaker to get it changed.

Don’t forget that your chance to respond to your matchmaker’s description is also a great opportunity to express your own personality. If you can say more than just “thanks mate” and you start to reflect who you are in the response.  You can also add anything your friend has left out. Feel free to add a little bit of ‘‘you” here

Posting a profile picture

We have pretty much seen it all here at Meetmyfriend but the singles who get the best picks are not always the impossibly good looking ones.  Maybe it’s because it’s less intimidating but the most popular profile pictures are of people who look friendly and approachable.  If you are not sure if your picture is working for you- Ask a friend preferably of the opposite sex.  Find out if your photo is doing you justice - get them to give you an honest opinion you may look hot but do you look nice too?

 It’s better to upload more than one picture (you can upload up to 5) as it gives people a better idea of what you actually look like and gives you the chance to show more than one side of yourself. As a general rule its best to have one of your face (the close up), one which shows you in a full length (the body shot) and one of you doing something you enjoy (the action shot).Natural photos work better than posed.

Finally a word of warning - If you don’t have a picture at all you are really missing out.  It’s the equivalent of walking into a bar with a bag over your head. Most people will not even consider reading a profile with no picture. So sort it out before you miss out on any more opportunities. You don’t have to look like a supermodel; you just have to look natural and happy.

Conducting  single Searches

Setting the search criteria helps you to narrow down your options but if you are too specific in your criteria you potentially cut out a lot of interesting people.    Age and location are two good examples of this of where people are overly restrictive .For example; ideally it would be great if your next date also happened to live in your road. But if you met someone who lived a little bit further out of town who you really hit it off with you probably wouldn’t mind. Same with age, ideally you might like to go out with someone much younger than you, but if you got that special feeling happening with someone your own age or even older – would it be a deal breaker?  If not, use the search criteria to define your outer limits, not your ideals.

Showing interest

People who get a lot of traffic on Meetmyfriend seem to have a lot of people in their "who I like” section. The best way to attract someone you are interested in is to let them know about it.  Both sexes are much more likely to approach someone they already think has shown some interest. So even if you are not ready to make direct contact by sending a message, the very least you can do is add their profile to “who I like” through your home page.  It’s like sending someone a smile across a crowded room; it cost you nothing and could reap big rewards. So spread the love and see what comes back.

Sending a message

Make sure you properly read someone’s profile before you reply. It shows your paying attention. Don’t spam lots of people with a generic message. This is the romantic equivalent of throwing a lot of mud at the wall to see what sticks. Most people can tell if your message is generic or impersonal and it doesn’t make them feel special. Instead pick a few people you really want to write back and send them a genuine 'hello'. Keep your first email short and light hearted. Make it personal– maybe commenting on something of interest in their profile.  Leave a message or ask a question that provokes a reply – give them an opener, something to say when they write back.  It’s all about getting a conversation started. Some people write too much too soon and then wonder why there is nothing left to say. Keep it bright and breezy.

Replying to messages

Take the time to reply to messages in a timely manner. Remember someone has taken the time to contact you so be polite even if you are not interested, there is no reason not to be friendly. You would expect the same right? Meetmyfriend is supposed to be all about making connections, meeting friends through friends etc. So it’s not just about who contacts you but who they might know and so on. What goes around comes around - you know the rest.

Not feeling the love?

If you have been putting yourself out their but not getting any responses to your effort you could be playing above your game.  Internet dating is just like real life. People generally go for people who are similar to themselves in the attractiveness stakes.  And by attractive I don’t mean just looks but personality, sense of humour intelligence – the whole package. All these things add up to create your attractiveness rating.  If you are not getting the responses you want it could be because you are batting above your average.  On line, just like in life, you need to be realistic if you are going to hook up with someone like you.  For example, research has shown that men in particular consistently rate themselves as more attractive than when they are rated independently by others.  It seems that men have a natural tendency to be drawn to very attractive women on line ( no surprises there) but  If that sounds familiar you may want to consider widening your net to catch more of those 'fish in the sea' .

Our experience has also shown that women can be particularly fussy. Many women dismiss a guy before they have given them a chance often due to very minor perceived flaws. IF that sounds like you – try to be more open minded and less judgemental especially in the beginning.  There’s plenty of time to throw the fish you don’t want back! Reject too soon and you could be seriously reducing your chance of meeting someone special.  Remember no one is perfect so doing let a minor flaw detract you from the main game.

Not meeting “the One”?

On-line dating is not the same as internet shopping. Unfortunately you don’t always get what you order. If you were hoping to meet your life partner yet and are wondering when it’s going to happen it helps to remember to enjoy dating for what it is. It’s about meeting a lot of people who may or may not bring you sparkle and having some fun along the way. The more people you meet the more chance you have of meeting someone special but if you don’t have the right approach you will get jaded pretty quickly. Like anything that’s worth doing, it can take a bit of time and effort.  But if you make it all about the end goal or you won’t be having fun anymore.  Think less about the destination and try to enjoy the ride.